I prefer partner. It makes it seem like we’re equals doing stuff together (think partner in crime, partners in a school project) instead of two people trying to fulfill to certain roles like our daddies did, and their daddies before them, and their….
But it’s not something I’d get bent out of shape over. No one can know what you prefer before you tell them.
Also, in my book, you don’t have to be legally married to use the words “husband” and “wife” if you want to. No one’s stopping you but yourself, Neil Patrick Harris.